Valentine's Day: it's not just for the kids. But it could be!

I loved this article- good practical tips on how to shower your kids with love and Valentine's Day spirit. I'm personally biased: Valentine's Day is one of my all-time favorite holidays. And before you give me the over-used "it's just a commercialized, Hallmark holiday" excuse, hear me out.... Yes, I will be the first to admit I love the heart shaped candy and fun pastel colors and cute little trinkets that have absolutely no use other than to...well, look cute. However, I also love Valentine's Day because of a very specific memory, specifically related to my father.

I was in 2nd grade, and we had just moved to a new state. My parents were in flux, as was our family dynamic. I didn't really feel like I belonged anywhere- at school, on the softball field, and sometimes even at home. I remember waking up one morning, Valentine's Day. I was excited, because as you know, as a child, Valentine's Day at school means parties, Valentine exchanges, and candy- lots of candy. I went to the dining room and to my surprise, there was a card and a gift for each of us girls, from my dad. I remember my card was a giant, folding zebra, and my gift was a bottle of Love's Baby Soft perfume. I felt so special, and so loved by my father. I remember this as one of the very first times feeling like my daddy's little girl: I was feminine, I was special, I was celebrated. I have never smelled Love's Baby Soft without reliving that special feeling.

The following few years, he did similar things- I remember a very ornately cut-out, red card in the shape of a dragon, and little gifties and candies on Valentine's morning that allowed me to start the day off feeling loved and special. 

My father and I have had a hell of a ride since then- his Valentine gifts did not foreshadow a Hallmark-like relationship between daddy and daughter. But they did help me to understand, at that age, how loved I was. And as an adult, these memories give me solid pieces of evidence that I was (and am), in fact, loved deeply by my father. 

I encourage all of you, parents or not, to read this article, and start Valentine's Day traditions of your own: challenge the commercialism of the holiday- take advantage of a day set aside for love- and make your own meaningful holiday for your loved ones.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/singletons/201302/sweethearts-in-training-15-tips

Why Counseling?

"Change only happens when the pain of holding on is greater than the fear of letting go." -Unknown


Let's be honest: life is not easy. While many of us get through tough times, we all, at some point, reach a place when we need a little help. Sometimes that help comes in the form of a helping hand, a loving friend, or a concerned family member. Sometimes the help we need is a listening ear or a steady shoulder; sometimes we need kind words and encouragement, sometimes we need hard, but true, words spoken in our lives to motivate change. 

Even though many of us go through these tough times, not every one has the tools and support network to get through it. And sometimes, even if we do have that network, it's not enough- we need something more. 

That's where counseling comes in. 

Counseling is a great way to start exploring this moments in life that leave you questioning, hurting, or wondering where to go next. A successful therapeutic relationship can provide a safe and comfortable place for someone to explore what comes next- what to do- and how to do it. Sometimes it's just the push we need to get back on track when other things in life just aren't working. 

I know the common objections that come up when someone thinks about counseling:

"It's too expensive"

"It's not really that big of a deal, I can handle it"

"I'm not crazy, I don't need counseling!"

"It worked for my friend, sure, but I don't think it will work for me"

"How is an hour of talking to a stranger going to help?"

"I know what I need to do, I just need the motivation..."

These are all common thoughts! In the same way that life isn't easy for all of us, it's also hard for each of us to reach out and ask for help. Especially when help comes with a price tag, time investment, and a call for emotional vulnerability- we are all going to put up a little resistance. 

And let's face it: change is tough and scary. Many times, even though our life is hard, we know it could be worse, so we put up with the pain. We endure the suffering. We compare ourselves to those who have it worse off, and come out on top. These great qualities of perseverance are part of what make us, as humans, amazingly intricate and advanced; they are also what keep us stuck in painful places. In other words, sometimes our best asset can be our worst enemy. 

If you're hurting, or just looking for a place to mentally rest, don't dismiss counseling. Remember, counselors are the same as you: human! They have had pain, and they have struggled. And, they want to help you! They know how tough (and brave) it is to come to begin counseling, and will walk you through the process. If you're worried about time and money, many counselors offer flexible schedules and payment structures to help ease that burden. Many also offer a free consultation, in person or on the phone, to help make it as comfortable as possible for you. 

So take a chance with change- what do you have to lose?